Does This Mortgage Make Me Look Fat?

Today was the big day!  My husband and I made an early morning trip to the title company, met with our realtor and banker, signed our name 864 times (approximately), and are now the proud new owners of a house!  We delivered our first load of random belongings, rolled giddily in the plush carpet, and started making plans of where everything will go when we move it all over.  I packed several more boxes, and I repacked the back of our Suburban after my husband went to work.  Now we are all set to take another load and do some unpacking tomorrow.  I am truly excited about this move, and can barely stand to wait for school to be out to finish. 

15 Reasons I Won't Miss Apartment Living #1!!!

Well, we've made it to the last day!  The last two weeks have been fun, but as they say, you ain't seen nothin' yet!  Settle back, and away we go!

We have already established that I live in Montana.  If you've never been here, it is very rustic, mountainous, rural, and the wild animals outnumber the people.  Our apartment complex is called Hunter's Pointe.  (The extra "e" makes it classy.)  They are obviously playing to the adult male, strong, vital, woodsy, with the title.  Out in front of the office stands a great beast, a life-sized, majestic bugling bull elk! He truly is a sight to behold.  Here, I will provide photographic proof.

I can see why they chose him.  He's strong, virile, he's the jock all of the cow elk want to mate with.  Somehow that translates to a reason for people to want to live here.  Since I'm not a man, I don't really get it, but it is a very nice piece of art.

Some of you look confused.  You are wondering what the problem is because this is obviously not something I hate, so how did it manage to make it into the #1 spot on my list?  Let me explain.  The picture you are looking at is what you see as you drive into the parking lot.  There are only three buildings to the left of this, but six buildings and a majority of the parking lot to the right.  That means that most people who live in this apartment complex, and a majority of the visitors will approach the office from the right side of the entrance.  When we go in and out of the office, we are greeted by this:

That's right.  He is absolutely anatomically correct.  He's not shy either.  Rain, snow, sleet, hail.  He always puts himself out there for all the world to see.  While I'm sure the testosterone level in this place rises as men enter the parking lot, it truly isn't worth it for me to have to encounter dangling elk genitalia each time I pay my rent.  Luckily, the bank that gave us the home loan settled for a huge pendulum clock, and my days of looking at this are few.

15 Reasons I Won't Miss Apartment Living #2

Tonight's topic is one near and dear to my heart.  Well, not so much my heart as my last nerve.  Parking in my one assigned parking space is about the fastest way to flip on my "B!+ch Switch".  The only crime ahead of it is messing with my babies, so you can see what a serious offense it is.  I look at it like this: If I'm going to pay over a thousand dollars a month to live in this hole, I am at least going to have the luxury of parking in my own spot.  If you decide you can park there too, I WILL pull up behind you and block your exit.  I WILL slap a Tow Away notice on your window.  (What can I say?  Management gave me extras.  And good luck getting that bad boy off.)  I WILL report your illegally parked car to the management WHILE I am parked behind you.  And God forbid you run into me in person while any of these steps are going down.  I don't care if it's your first day moving in, your last day moving out, your mom's birthday, or your annual celebration of abundance and joy...DO NOT PARK IN MY SPOT!

I warn because I care.

15 Reasons I Won't Miss Apartment Living #3

We started looking at houses just under two months ago.  We knew we might be cutting it close because our lease here is up at the end of June.  We didn't have much choice, really.  We wanted to make the purchase coincide as closely as possible with the end of our lease because if we wanted to break the lease, we would have to magically *poof* $2250.00 into our bank account.  You heard me right.  It would cost us over two thousand dollars to break our lease.  And if we got to the end of the lease, hadn't found a house, and wanted to go month-to-month, it would cost an extra $100.00 a month.  Our money tree is a little fruitless right now, so we opted for the "time it just right" plan.  We got lucky.  Not everyone does.  Their empty pockets are the proof.

15 Reasons I Won't Miss Apartment Living #4

I have four kids between the ages of two and ten.  Each one of them is a little ball of energy and fire that needs to be released, preferably not inside.  Luckily this apartment complex has a great playground in the middle.  The only problem is this: There are so many kids who live here that never have ANY supervision that I can't let my kids go play at the playground unless I go along.  (Let me clarify something.  The 2 year old does not go anywhere without an adult.)  When we first moved in, I would let the three big kids go over to play.  I gave the oldest a watch, and they had to stay together, not talk to strangers, not go into any apartment but ours, and check in every 15 minutes.  After a few complaints from my kids about bullies and foul language, I started going down there with them.  I NEVER saw another parent at the playground.  The kids were fighting, bullying, and two boys the same age as my oldest had the dirtiest vocabulary I have ever heard.  They say things I would be mortified to hear my husband say, much less my nine year old son. 

In short, I can't even allow my kids to play outside so I can get a little housework done.  I have to go along with them and regulate behaviors so they can play in a fun, safe environment.  I'm feared by most, and hated by all, but the kids know when I am there to be respectful because I know where they all live, and I'm not afraid to go talk to their parents.  I look forward to having our own fenced in yard where our kids can play and run and not have to worry.  Until then, I will stand up and be the b!+c# of the playground.

Gah!

So, now that my blog is pretty, it won't let anyone comment.  I am trying to figure it out, but I'm not a techy.  I can cut and paste, but that's about it.  If you can help me out, let me know.  Either e-mail me at cassielovespj@hotmail.com or @cassie_d_ape on twitter.  Until I get this resolved, thanks for your patience.

15 Reasons I Won't Miss Apartment Living #5

As you may know, I live in Montana.  We joke about only having two seasons: winter and construction, which really isn't that far off.  I have personally witnessed snow in all twelve months of the year.  You would think that since winter lasts approximately nine months out of the year here, snow removal would be a big priority.  Sadly, you would be wrong.

All around our parking lot there are little signs that say, "Drive with caution. Hazardous winter conditions may exist."  No kidding?  In Montana?  This, of course, is a CYA tactic employed by the complex because they rarely plow the snow from our parking lot.  That way, if you get in an accident due to snow or ice, they aren't liable, and can say, "Hey, we warned you."  Last winter we had five inch ice ruts running through the entire lot.  I measured.  I was extremely thankful at the end of the day that I drive a gas guzzling, bad for the air, Earth-killing SUV.  At least it was big enough to not get ripped apart by the ice.  I'm looking forward to only having to cuss the city for the bad road conditions from here on out.