Update

I finally got the new website functional so you can subscribe by email.  I'd love it if you'd all follow me to http://whatmommadoes.com/ Leave comments and let me know what you think.

My new, cozy .com

I know this is a huge pain for you, my lovely readers, but I bought my own domain, and I'm hoping you will all move with me!  That's right.  I sucked it up and got a permanent web home.  It's going to be more homey, and pretty, but still full of...whatever it is I have here.  So, I want you to come along!  You can find me at http://whatmommadoes.com/

Graduation and Random Thoughts

As you may have heard, today was week 9 day 3 of the Couch to 5K program.  That's it.  The end.  I finished!  I never would have believed 3 months ago when I started that I would ever be able to actually pull it off.  I'm not quite up to the 5K distance yet, but I'm going to work on my endurance and not worry about my distance for now.  For today, I am just going to bask in the glow of Graduation.

I know I mentioned that I pray while running.  While this is true, I don't necessarily pray the whole time I'm running.  Today was a very random thought day, so I decided it would be fun to share.

I started off with a prayer for endurance.  It was short.  God is smart.  He's run with me before, so He knows what I need. 
Then I was stopped and asked directions, so I gave them, only to realize I yelled at the people because I had ear buds in, something that my son does that annoys me... Moving on. 
I started thinking about what people must think of me as they drive by.  After all, it was cold, windy, snowing, and I'm not a small girl. (No, I'm not gonna tell you my weight...rude!) 
That brought me to the things people (read : boys) used to say about me in my teen years.  You know, back when I weighed 135 lbs.  To all of them (you?), I'd like to say this: "I've seen your current facebook pictures.  I at least have the excuse of giving birth four times.  And you?"
I'd like to send a special shout out to the kid who frequently sexually harassed me at the back table in Earth Science in 9th grade.  He married a girl we went to school with.  He's quite a catch, I'm sure.  *insert eye rolling here*
It was at this point that I turned the corner and headed downhill.  I was thinking about how good my pace felt, my breathing wasn't labored, I was feeling good.  Then a tumbleweed passed me.  It's a good thing the wind was blowing 20 miles an hour or I would have been really insulted.  You know, if there was no wind and it sauntered past me, sending a look over its stem...Show-off tumbleweeds really tick me off.
I don't recall any specific thoughts in the next stretch, just joy.  That was nice.
I turned the corner and ran past a bush with a couple of dozen birds in it.  As I ran by, they flew in circles and then away.  I'm not a fan of flocks of birds, but I was extremely relieved they didn't all fall out of the sky, dead.
As I started up the hill past the school (into the wind, no less), the fluffy snow turned into nasty little balls of sleet.  I considered that maybe God was paying me back for all the nasty thoughts toward the high school boys, but then decided he probably didn't like what they had done to my self-esteem either, and chalked it up to Montana winter weather.
Around the next corner, uphill, into the wind, again.  This is where I always get happy because I can see my street and I know I'm almost done.  I don't even care that it's uphill into the wind!  Then I get to run one block on flat ground, and up another hill into the wind.  This hill does make me hate running uphill into the wind.  It's a good thing it's only half a block from there. 
And then the euphoria of the descending tone in my ear.  I walked around the block to my house, stretched, showered, and here I am.  A graduate.

I'm going to take a few days off due to the forecasted frigid temperatures, but will be back at it soon with the start of 10K training. 

A Challenge

OK, a lot of you have said that you find my running "inspiring".  I want you to prove it.  You can say it all day long, but I don't see myself as inspirational.  I'm just a woman who is finally taking time to take care of myself.  If you really do feel inspired by me, I want specifics. 

That's right.  I want to know what you're doing.  Have you started running after reading my blog?  Tell me about it.  Are you eating more healthily?  What have you changed?  Have you set a goal, and mapped out your route to success?  I want to know what and how.  Leave a comment or send me an email if you'd like to have your story on my blog.  (cassielovespj at hotmail dot com)  Let's face it, if I can inspire you, you can inspire people too!

Now, to all of you who are inspired, but not enough to do something about it, I offer a challenge.  I challenge you to set a goal.  Set a big goal.  Set a small goal.  Do whatever it takes.  Leave your goal in a comment here, or email it to me.  Want to lose weight?  Set a reasonable goal.  Want to learn a new sport?  Find a class.  Want to run?  Do some research.  Ask me questions.  Whatever it is you want to do, SET A GOAL.  I would love to support you on your way to success!

I appreciate all of you reading and commenting on my blog.  I hope that I really am inspiring you.  Now, go out there and prove it to me!  Better yet, prove it to yourself.

Sweet, sweet victory

After Tuesday's less than fulfilling run, I was a little nervous.  I took yesterday off because, frankly, my calves were killing me.  I'm pretty sure I could not have run if I'd wanted to.  But today... Oh, friends.  Today was different.  Today started out with a caffeine withdrawal headache, mama drama, and tears.  And so I decided to take my frustration running.

I don't know about you, but I find it hard to take the time for Bible reading and praying throughout the day.  My favorite time spent with God is while I'm running.  That's right.  With bad techno blasting in my ears, and slushy snow all around, that's when I find it easiest to be thankful for the strength, the endurance, and the determination to run.  I thank God for my ridiculously sweet husband who stays with the kids with no complaints, and encourages me to get out there.  I thank Him for carrying me along, for pushing me uphill into the wind, for giving me a hill to run down in the middle.  It's very relaxing for me to have the time to reflect on life, and to see how blessed I really am.

Today, fueled by general frustration and my annoyance at not making it all the way Tuesday, I ran like never before.  I ran farther (2.27 miles).  I ran faster (though not "fast").  I was victorious!  And it felt so sweet.  I'm back on track, and I feel good.  I'm not going to let one little glitch hold me back.  And with that, Week 9 Day 2 is a success.

But it FEELS like Failure

I expected to fail.  From day one, I have been waiting for it.  Honestly, though, I expected it to come in weeks 4-6 when the running times started to increase.  I was sure it would happen when I got into the double digits.  But it didn't.  Not until today.   Not until week 9 day 2 when I am just about to graduate from the program.  I didn't see it coming, and when I realized what was happening, my eyes filled with tears, my heart broke, and I started to wonder what I had done wrong.

Did I psych myself out this morning when I realized that at my current pace, it would take me just over three hours of constant, consistent jogging to finish a half marathon?  Maybe because I ran yesterday, and I needed to take a day to recover?  Of course I wondered if I'm just not good enough to actually reach this goal.  That's what failure does.  It gets into your head and stands in front of all the positive words so that you can't see them.  It didn't matter that I had made it this far.  It only mattered that I didn't manage to own this workout, or even drag butt to the finish. 

Of course, I know today wasn't an ACTUAL fail.  I still managed to run over a mile, and I covered the same ground I would have if I had been running.  In all honesty, I made it almost as far walking out the 30 minutes today as I did jogging it yesterday.  The thing is, it really FELT like failure.  I'm still not happy about it, but after spending an hour wrapped up in a blanket like a burrito, I know that life will go on.  I will take tomorrow to recover, but Thursday had better look out, because I will be back out there chasing my dream.

Well, Why Not?

I am a runner. 

I know, if you know me, just the visual of me typing that sentence is hilarious.  I am not healthy.  I'm not in good physical shape.  It has been a lot of years since I would have described myself as "athletic".  And yet, here I am.  Tomorrow I will start week 9, the final week, of the Couch to 5K program.  I have been running (OK, jogging) since mid-October.  I am not quite up to running a 5K yet (just over 3 miles), but I'm able to run a little over two miles in 28 minutes.  I've never been able to run that far before. 

I never thought I could be a runner.  I was never given the chance to use an interval program as a tool to improve my endurance.  As an asthmatic, I wasn't able to "just run" for 20 minutes in high school PE.  I once managed 7 laps (that's 1.75 miles), and promptly retreated to the locker room to vomit.  Running was something only the most athletic (and popular) kids did.  And believe me, I was neither.

Now, here I am 15 years later, and I've gained all this weight from having babies.  And stress-eating.  And a general love of food.  I don't recognize myself when I look in the mirror.  I'm caught off-guard by the size every time I buy new pants.  I'm too tired to play with my kids.  I worry because my mom and dad both have/had diabetes and are/were obese.  I don't want my kids to see me go through the health issues that my parents have. 

Since it is a new year, and since I suddenly enjoy running, I've set a goal.  I had already decided that I was going to move on to the Bridge to 10K after I finished the 5K program.  Then, I was reading an article on women's races when I came across the See Jane Run in Boise.  There is a 5K and a half-marathon, so of course I would want to train and run the 5K, right?  Ha!  Of course not.  That would be too easy.  Instead, I've decided to run my hiney off, lose weight, get into shape, and train for a half-marathon.  It's only 13.1 miles...How hard could it be?  (I know, right?)

So, all that New Year, New Me garbage is, well, inspirational I guess.  It's finally time I took care of myself.  (Not like that "Be more feminine" fiasco from last January.  Wow.  That was a bad idea!)  I'll be sure to keep you posted.  Oh yeah, Happy New Year!