Graduation and Random Thoughts

As you may have heard, today was week 9 day 3 of the Couch to 5K program.  That's it.  The end.  I finished!  I never would have believed 3 months ago when I started that I would ever be able to actually pull it off.  I'm not quite up to the 5K distance yet, but I'm going to work on my endurance and not worry about my distance for now.  For today, I am just going to bask in the glow of Graduation.

I know I mentioned that I pray while running.  While this is true, I don't necessarily pray the whole time I'm running.  Today was a very random thought day, so I decided it would be fun to share.

I started off with a prayer for endurance.  It was short.  God is smart.  He's run with me before, so He knows what I need. 
Then I was stopped and asked directions, so I gave them, only to realize I yelled at the people because I had ear buds in, something that my son does that annoys me... Moving on. 
I started thinking about what people must think of me as they drive by.  After all, it was cold, windy, snowing, and I'm not a small girl. (No, I'm not gonna tell you my weight...rude!) 
That brought me to the things people (read : boys) used to say about me in my teen years.  You know, back when I weighed 135 lbs.  To all of them (you?), I'd like to say this: "I've seen your current facebook pictures.  I at least have the excuse of giving birth four times.  And you?"
I'd like to send a special shout out to the kid who frequently sexually harassed me at the back table in Earth Science in 9th grade.  He married a girl we went to school with.  He's quite a catch, I'm sure.  *insert eye rolling here*
It was at this point that I turned the corner and headed downhill.  I was thinking about how good my pace felt, my breathing wasn't labored, I was feeling good.  Then a tumbleweed passed me.  It's a good thing the wind was blowing 20 miles an hour or I would have been really insulted.  You know, if there was no wind and it sauntered past me, sending a look over its stem...Show-off tumbleweeds really tick me off.
I don't recall any specific thoughts in the next stretch, just joy.  That was nice.
I turned the corner and ran past a bush with a couple of dozen birds in it.  As I ran by, they flew in circles and then away.  I'm not a fan of flocks of birds, but I was extremely relieved they didn't all fall out of the sky, dead.
As I started up the hill past the school (into the wind, no less), the fluffy snow turned into nasty little balls of sleet.  I considered that maybe God was paying me back for all the nasty thoughts toward the high school boys, but then decided he probably didn't like what they had done to my self-esteem either, and chalked it up to Montana winter weather.
Around the next corner, uphill, into the wind, again.  This is where I always get happy because I can see my street and I know I'm almost done.  I don't even care that it's uphill into the wind!  Then I get to run one block on flat ground, and up another hill into the wind.  This hill does make me hate running uphill into the wind.  It's a good thing it's only half a block from there. 
And then the euphoria of the descending tone in my ear.  I walked around the block to my house, stretched, showered, and here I am.  A graduate.

I'm going to take a few days off due to the forecasted frigid temperatures, but will be back at it soon with the start of 10K training. 

Sweet, sweet victory

After Tuesday's less than fulfilling run, I was a little nervous.  I took yesterday off because, frankly, my calves were killing me.  I'm pretty sure I could not have run if I'd wanted to.  But today... Oh, friends.  Today was different.  Today started out with a caffeine withdrawal headache, mama drama, and tears.  And so I decided to take my frustration running.

I don't know about you, but I find it hard to take the time for Bible reading and praying throughout the day.  My favorite time spent with God is while I'm running.  That's right.  With bad techno blasting in my ears, and slushy snow all around, that's when I find it easiest to be thankful for the strength, the endurance, and the determination to run.  I thank God for my ridiculously sweet husband who stays with the kids with no complaints, and encourages me to get out there.  I thank Him for carrying me along, for pushing me uphill into the wind, for giving me a hill to run down in the middle.  It's very relaxing for me to have the time to reflect on life, and to see how blessed I really am.

Today, fueled by general frustration and my annoyance at not making it all the way Tuesday, I ran like never before.  I ran farther (2.27 miles).  I ran faster (though not "fast").  I was victorious!  And it felt so sweet.  I'm back on track, and I feel good.  I'm not going to let one little glitch hold me back.  And with that, Week 9 Day 2 is a success.

But it FEELS like Failure

I expected to fail.  From day one, I have been waiting for it.  Honestly, though, I expected it to come in weeks 4-6 when the running times started to increase.  I was sure it would happen when I got into the double digits.  But it didn't.  Not until today.   Not until week 9 day 2 when I am just about to graduate from the program.  I didn't see it coming, and when I realized what was happening, my eyes filled with tears, my heart broke, and I started to wonder what I had done wrong.

Did I psych myself out this morning when I realized that at my current pace, it would take me just over three hours of constant, consistent jogging to finish a half marathon?  Maybe because I ran yesterday, and I needed to take a day to recover?  Of course I wondered if I'm just not good enough to actually reach this goal.  That's what failure does.  It gets into your head and stands in front of all the positive words so that you can't see them.  It didn't matter that I had made it this far.  It only mattered that I didn't manage to own this workout, or even drag butt to the finish. 

Of course, I know today wasn't an ACTUAL fail.  I still managed to run over a mile, and I covered the same ground I would have if I had been running.  In all honesty, I made it almost as far walking out the 30 minutes today as I did jogging it yesterday.  The thing is, it really FELT like failure.  I'm still not happy about it, but after spending an hour wrapped up in a blanket like a burrito, I know that life will go on.  I will take tomorrow to recover, but Thursday had better look out, because I will be back out there chasing my dream.

Well, Why Not?

I am a runner. 

I know, if you know me, just the visual of me typing that sentence is hilarious.  I am not healthy.  I'm not in good physical shape.  It has been a lot of years since I would have described myself as "athletic".  And yet, here I am.  Tomorrow I will start week 9, the final week, of the Couch to 5K program.  I have been running (OK, jogging) since mid-October.  I am not quite up to running a 5K yet (just over 3 miles), but I'm able to run a little over two miles in 28 minutes.  I've never been able to run that far before. 

I never thought I could be a runner.  I was never given the chance to use an interval program as a tool to improve my endurance.  As an asthmatic, I wasn't able to "just run" for 20 minutes in high school PE.  I once managed 7 laps (that's 1.75 miles), and promptly retreated to the locker room to vomit.  Running was something only the most athletic (and popular) kids did.  And believe me, I was neither.

Now, here I am 15 years later, and I've gained all this weight from having babies.  And stress-eating.  And a general love of food.  I don't recognize myself when I look in the mirror.  I'm caught off-guard by the size every time I buy new pants.  I'm too tired to play with my kids.  I worry because my mom and dad both have/had diabetes and are/were obese.  I don't want my kids to see me go through the health issues that my parents have. 

Since it is a new year, and since I suddenly enjoy running, I've set a goal.  I had already decided that I was going to move on to the Bridge to 10K after I finished the 5K program.  Then, I was reading an article on women's races when I came across the See Jane Run in Boise.  There is a 5K and a half-marathon, so of course I would want to train and run the 5K, right?  Ha!  Of course not.  That would be too easy.  Instead, I've decided to run my hiney off, lose weight, get into shape, and train for a half-marathon.  It's only 13.1 miles...How hard could it be?  (I know, right?)

So, all that New Year, New Me garbage is, well, inspirational I guess.  It's finally time I took care of myself.  (Not like that "Be more feminine" fiasco from last January.  Wow.  That was a bad idea!)  I'll be sure to keep you posted.  Oh yeah, Happy New Year!

The Secrets of My Success

As a lot of you know, today was my 2 month weight loss check in.  The results are in, and I've lost several inches the last 2 months and I'm down 14.2 pounds!!  It isn't enough to win The Biggest Loser, but it's enough that I can fit into three pairs of pants that I couldn't two months ago.  It's enough that a few more of my shirts fit comfortably.  It's enough to keep me going, keep me smiling, and keep me jogging, of all things!

When I shared my success on Twitter this morning, several people asked me how I did it.  Since my goals, plans, and actions were hard to fit into 140 characters, I thought I would post it here for all to see.

First of all, I have made a few changes in my diet.  I'm not ON a diet.  And I didn't cut much out of my diet.  I switched to Splenda in my coffee, and I eat yogurt with oats in it for breakfast instead of a big bowl of cereal.  I try to buy fruits and vegetables to snack on instead of candy and other "bad" foods.  I have made this biggest changes in my portion sizes.  I still eat pizza, but have only one or two small slices instead of four.  I gave up sodas, but every once in a while, I get a craving.  Instead of drinking a Mountain Dew or Dr. Pepper like I used to, I grab a Diet Root Beer.  I buy Lite string cheese instead of regular.  Really, the little changes add up quickly.

Next, I've started exercising.  I'm not talking about four hours a day in a gym.  I'm sticking with 30 minutes, three days a week.  If I manage more than that, great!  My main activity is the Couch to 5K program.  Basically, it takes people who have no experience running through an interval program that builds up to an uninterrupted 30 minute run.  I'm starting week 6 tomorrow.  Friday I jogged (I'm not to the point of running yet.) a full 20 minutes, and I covered about 1.75 miles in that time.  I haven't run that long or far in over a decade!  When I do fit something else in, it's a Biggest Loser workout, yoga, or a Walk Away the Pounds video.

Last, I have a great support network.  My husband is a champ, and lets me go out jogging while he hangs out with the kids.  He's very supportive of my efforts, and proud of my accomplishments.  My mom helps out with the kids when PJ is working.  My friend, Rachel, also did the C25K with me while she was in town.  Plus, I have a great group of online friends who are all working toward the same goals as me.  It makes a huge difference when I have friends to hold me accountable, ask questions about what I've done and how I'm feeling, and can understand what I am going through.  I know from previous experience that I would have given up weeks ago if it wasn't for all of them.

In short, I'm doing all those things "they" say to do: Eat right, exercise, and have a support system.  I wish it was easier, but it's not.  I'm not sure I will manage to hit my end-of-the-year goal (I have 12.5lbs to go), but I'm extremely happy with the progress I've made so far.  It's not magic, but if you have any questions for me, please ask away.  I'm hoping I will have a bigger (smaller?) success story to share with you next month!

Week 2 Day 1, and no I'm not joking

The temperature got up to 46 degrees here today, with constant 30mph winds. I don't even want to think about the gusts. After not getting any exercise the last few days, I decided I'd better go do week 2 day 1 of C25K anyway. Heh.

This happened 2 weeks ago...

I set out dressed in running pants, a T-shirt, a hoodie, cozy socks, Nikes, my ear buds, and a BSU stocking cap. (Have I mentioned it was cold and windy?) My water bottle all but froze to my hand.

My first running interval was, of course, uphill and into the wind. As if that wasn't enough, about 30 seconds into it, I was attacked by a Pomeranian. I didn't hear it come up behind me because of my music. It was 3 inches from me and barking before I knew it was there. I jumped, felt like an idiot, laughed at myself, and prayed no one was watching.

The next interval made me think I should cut my loop short because cold weather, jogging, and asthma don't mix. Then I got headed downhill with the wind behind me and changed my mind.

During the running portion of the 3rd set, my underwear slid down and settled atop my thighs. I would have straightened them, but I was directly in front of our new church at the time, and there was a crowd of teenagers in the parking lot. From this point on I literally froze my a$$ off.

The last running section was also uphill into the wind while dodging high school students returning from lunch. Did I mention my underwear were trying to escape my body?

But, I did it. I was frozen. And tired. And felt naked. And was so proud of myself and thankful to God for getting me through. Look out, week 2. I'm ready for you!

Week 1 of Couch to 5K

I am happy to say that I lived through the first week of the C25K.  The first day was a little boring because I downloaded a program on my BlackBerry to keep track of my intervals, but it wouldn't work with my music.  I spent the quiet time praying for my friends, my family, other people like me who are afraid to fail, and therefore never try...  I watched the horses in the pasture and the kids at the high school.  And then I realized I had made it through.

Days two and three I used music from here that had already been set up with the intervals for week one.  I'm not a fan of techno music, but it was nice to have something to listen to.  It also helped that I had some great twitter friends who were willing to start on this adventure with me.  We all have our own issues, goals, and approach, but the support system is wonderful!

Look out Week 2!

Taking the first step

I know you've heard me talk before of hating my current shape, wanting to adopt a healthy lifestyle, starting an exercise routine...  Same old story.  This time is different.  I've been thinking a lot about all of the health issues my parents have dealt with, a majority of which stemmed from their obesity.  I'm not getting any younger, and I'm extremely out of shape.  I don't want to deal with diabetes and heart issues.  I want my kids to have a healthier outlook than the one I grew up with.  I don't want my kids to live by the idea of always having to clean their plates, whether they are still hungry or not.  And I want to change my thinking as well.

I'm not saying I want us to be wasteful.  I do want to be more aware of what and how much we eat.  We will offer healthier options.  My family loves fruits and veggies, so we should be eating more of them.  The kids have plenty of opportunity to exercise, but I need to make more time for me to get moving.  I will do my best to keep you all informed (and me accountable) of my progress.  I'm too young to be obese and not try to change my circumstances.

The first step: Couch to 5K... Lord help me.