Tonight's topic is one near and dear to my heart. Well, not so much my heart as my last nerve. Parking in my one assigned parking space is about the fastest way to flip on my "B!+ch Switch". The only crime ahead of it is messing with my babies, so you can see what a serious offense it is. I look at it like this: If I'm going to pay over a thousand dollars a month to live in this hole, I am at least going to have the luxury of parking in my own spot. If you decide you can park there too, I WILL pull up behind you and block your exit. I WILL slap a Tow Away notice on your window. (What can I say? Management gave me extras. And good luck getting that bad boy off.) I WILL report your illegally parked car to the management WHILE I am parked behind you. And God forbid you run into me in person while any of these steps are going down. I don't care if it's your first day moving in, your last day moving out, your mom's birthday, or your annual celebration of abundance and joy...DO NOT PARK IN MY SPOT!
I warn because I care.